21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. (1 John 3:21–22)
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who are empathetic and those who are not. We need both. But as Christians, with our personalities tempered by the indwelling spirit of God, He gives us opportunities to stretch ourselves, making the empathetic do hard things, and the hard-nosed dispense grace that they might otherwise withhold under the circumstances,
Where would we be if no one could or would commiserate with us? On the other hand, we need those who can “tell it like it is” and move on, who seem to be able to resist wallowing in the plight of others. We would hope that the spirit of God instills empathy in the unsympathetic and stiffens the backbone of the softhearted. In both cases, it is possible to be guilt ridden by our lack of sensitivity or the absence of a backbone.
It is comforting to know that God’s spirit is the arbiter of a Christian’s responses to the pain of others if allowed to hold sway. Since I lean toward the empathetic side, I need the Lord to encourage me to “do the hard thing.” I had a boss who kept harping that I needed to learn how to do the hard thing, while at the same time, he turned to mush when forced to lay off workers, and was known to bail out his employees who broke the law. Me, as a former banker, foreclosed on a young family with a child and took their house to settle their debt. They were sitting right across from me, including their child, when the deed was done. It is interesting that I was there to counsel my boss that he had to do what he did, that he was fair with them. On the other hand, I was praying hard for those unfortunate folks whose life was upended, that the Lord would provide for them.
We just want to respond in the manner the Lord wants us to in any situation. I want to dispense compassion at the level He would want me to dispense it, and I want to come down hard when required when every fiber of my being wants to cut some slack. It’s tough being fair, to hug a person you just let go, to take away someone’s livelihood. But better that His children do these jobs than those who have no soul. In both situations, our peace and confidence comes from the lack of condemnation issuing forth from our heart. We know that the Lord is working all things out for the good behind the scenes. He’s got this.
As an aside, what is described above is also “godly parenting.”
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